It can be very frustrating to find yourself in the same situation over and over again.
It can be even more frustrating to find that you are behaving in exactly the same way each time, though vowing you will be different.
Change the time and day, the person involved, but when something triggers you, then off you go. Repeat your behaviour in the full knowledge that you will go down that one path. React and the situation escalates. I find myself at times, having an out of body experience as I look down at me, predicting with uncanny precision exactly how the situation will end.
Tony Robbins talked about this extensively in his books – about neural pathways and the fact that as we repeat our thought process and our actions, that pathway gets deeper and bigger. And we keep repeating our thought process and our actions. The point I make is that it’s frustrating to want to make the changes and yet find yourself not so lucky attempting it. I read an interesting blog entry – The Best Way to Use the Last Five Minutes of Your Day on HBR today. Peter Bregman wrote a guest post about how a person he worked with was really good at what she did but was at risk of getting fired. She was hard to work with – high expectations of herself and those around her, a workaholic, competitive etc etc. When confronted about how others felt about her, she wasn’t surprised – she had received that feedback before !
Peter says we could look at her and laugh at her ignorance. And her failure to do anything about her situation. But many of us do the same thing. I can certainly say that of myself.
Some may choose not to look at their failures.
Some may choose to but not understand what the failure is really about or where the failure sits.
Keep plugging at it? Well, you got to keep trying or you will stagnate. That’s a lowering of your standards really. A cop out.
Despite the failures, and the past may well be littered with them, I think I need to still keep at it. And rather than hide away in embarrassment at how many times I have failed, I should secretly be happy. As Babe Ruth (who reportedly had 1330 strikeouts to the 714 home runs) said, “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run”.