I liked two bits about this piece in particular. Firstly, Sulynn argues that like a fever, conflict signals that we need to change the way we make choices about how we live.
How often have you found yourself doing the same thing over and over again, each time fully expecting to get different results? It’s a kind of insanity, isn’t it? But what are the alternatives? One – you could do the hard work and try to figure out the root of the problem. Or two, you could accept that reality that you are choosing to not see.
There are only so many times that you can do the same thing over and over again and see the same result before you start to wonder exactly what is happening. Most of the time, we live in almost rote fashion, moving from day to day, in a blur of busy-ness. How do we choose to spend our free time? Actually, its pretty much also about how we choose to spend the time at work.
It’s a choice we make. It’s not something forced upon us. The situation may be forced upon us but how we choose to deal with it, is entirely up to us. And if you find yourself in the same kind of situations over and over again, perhaps there’s more to it than you care to think about.
When we choose to blame our surroundings, our peers, our situations, it is a cop-out. It also leads to a dead end -“I’ve figured it out and that’s all there is to it”.
And sometimes it is hard, I must agree, to accept blame in a situation where it may not appear to warrant it. But that is where we come to point two.
Sulynn also said that perception is not reality. How we view a conflict situation reflects our values, biases, experiences, influences, fears and preferences to a large extent.
Ever find yourself in a situation where you think you know what you know about something? And then someone says something and whack, it’s a complete change of mind. Just like that. Perception is indeed not reality. Here we go through life, arguing our perceptions about everything as if they were. What is reality really but a matter of perception? Nothing stays the same. Nothing is to you what it is to me.
If you come away, thinking that you are back to square one, that you really don’t know anything anymore, I can’t help but wonder that perhaps you may be on the right track.