By no means, does the easy listing 1-2-3 of these tips indicate the ease in which these things are dealt with. Make no mistake – I do struggle through this. It’s in my nature, I think, to work well (to some degree) with pressure. I much prefer the clean and uncluttered mind when I am working but find sometimes a certain comfort in making quick decisions, for example, when under pressure. It’s almost as if you have something or someone to blame. Of course, you don’t but it’s a nice fallback if you succeed in convincing yourself.
The point I make here is that all of this is hard. No one promises it will be easy. Some days, you wake up on a good note and you slide through most anything. And then there are days where you are doomed from the moment the alarm goes off. Something trips up somewhere and it’s a spiral downwards after that. Now, it’s those days that you really need to focus on some of these things I mentioned. When you have an awareness of what is before you, of the thoughts racing through your mind and of how you’re feeling, its like an out of body experience. You watch yourself explode or feel sad or whatever. It’s in these moments that if you are able to overcome the basic and the reactionary that you have a chance to change things around for yourself.
Because ultimately, that is what we are trying to do.
While we can try and change the things around us, the thing that we have the most chance of success really, lies in the change that we seek in and of ourselves.
So, my second tip to decompress is to accept what you’re faced with.
This doesn’t mean that you console yourself that this is your lot in life. Rather, it’s an acceptance that this is the circumstance that you are now faced with. But you have choices about how you want to view this particular circumstance – whether you see all doom and gloom or whether you see opportunity. You have a choice as to whether to ponder on it or react straight away. The thing about accepting what you’re faced with is to be able to truthfully see the situation for what it is. Sometimes, we’re clouded by emotion or being too close to something to really see what is before us. If you feel that this happening, take a step back. Leave it for a while and come back to it. It will almost always make you feel better having left it for a while.
If you can honestly call it, whatever it is, what it is indeed, everything seems better and clearer. Yes, there are times that you may not like what you see or hear or like the options you plan to explore. But being honest about it and calling it, means that you can now move ahead. You can now deal with it. And those steps – firstly, of calling it what it is and secondly, of deciding how you plan to deal with it – are powerful. A lot of what we have to deal with makes us weak because we feel or believe that we have no power in a given situation. But we always do. Even in a situation where it can look hopeless or dire, we have the power. Over ourselves. No one can take that away from you unless you give it away. You need to see this to realise the beauty and strength this gives you.
It’s the flip of a switch in your mindset that will make all the difference, won’t it? And I am always amazed when this happens to me. When you suddenly take a different viewpoint or look at things from a different angle and then…suddenly, you find a different way of looking at something that didnt even occur to you before this. And then, your world shifts.
Tip #1. Slow down
Tip #3. Create a list. Then make a plan.
Tip #4. Take some time off
Tip #5. Prioritise
Tip #6. Realise what to be grateful for
Tip #8. Do the work
Tip #10. The knowing-doing gap