Sometimes, its not very obvious to the naked eye. You think you see one thing but actually, it might be something else altogether.
Our success in building effective and deep relationships with the ones we love and the ones we work with lies, to very great extent, in how well we perceive others. Our perception is affected by so many things.
Our pool of experiences
Nothing is ever anything other than what we perceive it to be. There aren???t always ???facts??? as some would call it. Sometimes, its just a perception. The emotions we bring from our past experiences have huge bearing. Even more so, our perception of any truth. I???ve heard it said that you can perceive a situation but it???s how we tell the story, of what we???ve perceived, to ourselves or to those around us that have impact. It is what we tell ourselves of the story, and not the situation, that lingers and remains. And over time, the memory of the situation fades and all we have left is the emotion or our assessment of it, at that time.
Our state of mind
Ever notice how your state of mind, clouds your judgment, when you are most volatile or angst ridden?
Anger, sorrow, fear ??? they all come into the mix, and they greatly affect how we think about things.
The opinions we hold dear
We go to the ones we trust and ask their opinion firstly, because we trust and respect them. Secondly, because we know, deep down, what they are going to say. We don???t move on, in a deep relationship, whatever it may be, without being able to truly assess how the other will respond or react in any given situation. We develop this and it takes time. Is that why we ask advice from those whom we can trust we will follow? As opposed to asking advice, and not knowing the truth and waiting with bated breath for an answer.
Our need to control a situation or outcome
Let???s face it. I have definitely been in many situations where the desire to control the outcome exceeded my influence in that area. Yet, there I was, hell-bent on trying to manifest something and quite blindingly pushing ahead for the outcome I so desired. So what do we hear when we listen in this manner? What exactly do we perceive?
Our desire to be right
Ego gets in the way. And then, there is no turning back. If this desire far exceeds anything else, well, all I can say is that it will certainly one long lonely road to be on.
The places we dare not go
We all have fears, some we are ready to acknowledge and some we are not. Acknowledging that the fear exists, helps us make slightly better decisions, no doubt. But if these fears exist, our fears colour our perceptions. There are places we indeed dare not go.
Knowing and doing
I live and breathe this daily ??? the gap between what I know I need to do and what I am doing. It is a frustrating hell to be in and the first step is acknowledging to oneself what exactly you need to work on. Admitting this to yourself early on, colours everything.
Willingness to let go
I believe that a desire to let things be as they happen, has a certain quality to it. Peace lies at the heart of it, a slow moving tranquility to move and yet be unmoved when called for it.