I chanced upon a quote today from Stephen Covey which goes ??? ??? I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.???
Circumstances have a peculiar way of appearing as if they are reality. What this means is that if we look at the circumstances and make decisions based on how we react to it, or what we read into it, sometimes it may appear as if we have no choice. But circumstances are merely situations. It is a presentation of one view which means that it can be subject to more than one view. These are dependent on our emotional investment in the situation and our interpretation of it. The reality is that these interpretations can vary tremendously depending on the time of day, what experiences we???ve had at that point, our open-ness to something and our mood as well. Let???s face it ??? we are not purely logical creatures, devoid of the push and pull of what comes our way and the driving force of emotion.
The trick is to keep in mind that it???s merely a situation, that what action you take is highly dependent on what you read into it. What you really want to do is to retain control of yourself, not the situation. You cannot control the situation, there are as many factors within your reach as there are outside your reach. But control over yourself, over how you read the situation and how you act following that, that is well within your control. Or at least, it can be, with practice.
When you hear someone say that they had no choice, that they were forced to do something, that they simply had to, what they are really saying is that they were not comfortable making a decision. They were more comfortable feeling that the situation overwhelmed them to a point that something was forced onto them. When you say that you are forced to do something, you are saying it is outside your control and your decision-making.
The truth is that the circumstance is outside your control, but not your decision.
The decision is yours to take. If you want to.