You might think that, at most levels, you could understand why someone thinks the way she does. But given the wide arc of influences on who we are, how we approach an issue, the values we trust and hold dear to and the essential characteristics that drive our very nature (some of which we are not cognisant of ourselves), it is sometimes near impossible to understand what drives a person if we are not privy to these influences.
The reality is that we hold others accountable according to how we see ourselves. And whether we like to admit it or not, we judge them like so. Add to that the fact that sometimes it???s not someone else that we really see, but ourselves mirrored back. That is why there is so much misunderstanding in the world.
To truly understand why someone is the way she is, you need to truly see and hear her, something we can???t be sure that we are doing successfully and regularly in all our interactions.
However, understanding why a person behaves or thinks in a particular way does not necessarily mean that we will accept their stand.
That said, if we could suspend judgment if only for a brief moment, it would be for the better.
Seeing it from her perspective will arm you with the empathy you need to display.
When you???ve gone through what she has gone through, the issues make more sense to you. You actually know what she is talking about. You don???t actually have the ability to go through her set of experiences but thinking about it takes you closer than if you had not. You don???t need a list of 10 reasons why it changes things for the better. You just need one or two and it must be the ones that matter.
Even then, there will be times that things will not make sense to you. Your attempt to draw reason from it may not work and you will be left with two choices ??? keep trying to understand why it is the way it is or give up trying.