Often, when you think about what someone has said to you, you focus on yourself.
You think about what the message means to you.
You think about how the message makes you feel.
You think about what it means when that someone has decided to say those things. How could he say such things and does he know the impact it has on you.
However, when you concentrate more on what the message is and means to you, you lose sight of the fact the you really should concentrate more on what message the sender is presenting.
The big picture is that the message is not about you. The message is hardly ever about you – it is about the sender of the message. Therefore, sometimes, we read more into a message than is intended or is justified.
And when you switch to this perspective, it makes all the difference in figuring out how to move forward.