I’d like to think that I am always in control of how I come across. Simply, this means that I am able to control not just the message but the perception. But that is simply not the case.
As I get older, and acknowledge to myself repeatedly, how difficult and fraught communicating really is, I have come to see that I have challenges with imparting the message, its intent, the manner of delivery and then, the receipt of the message.
If I am given time to clarify, to distil and an opportunity to explain myself, then I have a chance for my message to achieve its desired aim. If not, well, anything goes really and repetition or force of speech does not make anything more palatable.
The challenges are that much worse when dealing with those with whom you already have a relationship with ie they have some basis on which to decide on how they want to perceive the message and its intended aim.
Because the reality is we do have a much cleaner slate when dealing with people for the first time. We are more apt to second guess ourselves than them, aren’t we?