It’s coming up to that point in the year when I am naturally more reflective than usual, taking stock of what’s happened and what things are to come.
Resolutions are cheesy and frankly, I don’t think they work. You don’t need to wait for a point in your year to make, what are typically life-changing decisions – you can do this any time. The point about choosing this time of the year to do it is that it’s artificial and not really need-fuelled. Something that is internally driven such as a goal that you’ve set is driven by your own internal motives, by what you believe is pushing you forward or holding you back. So, I feel that choosing this time of year to make huge decisions seems like you will be setting yourself up to fail.
Make a decision about your goal at whatever point you are thinking or planning around your goal and let it not be determined by the time of year.
Secondly, people tend to create such huge expectations around the goals or wishes they set for themselves at this time that it really sets up a high barrier to success. The best way to tackle any problem or challenge is to confront it consistently and with baby steps. But first, decide what it is that is wrong and then whether you want to do anything about it. Note that I don’t say ‘should’ do anything about it but ‘want’. Your own desire is what will push you forward, not some obligation or external moral notion of right or wrong.
As for me, I don’t pretend to give advice. Sometimes, I feel that this may come across as advice but really, I do want to say that it’s not meant to be. I feel most times, that this is more an internal log, and that I am really talking to myself. That when I look back I can see the journey I have been on and make note of what I need to learn.
I am just on a journey, like you. I make so many mistakes it’s simply not funny. I am constantly reminded of how weak, inconsistent and emotional I am. Yet, in other situations, I am also reminded of how I am strong, solid and fuelled by ambition, desire, love and intent. It’s not a straight path – it’s a long one and its crooked and sometimes, you have to take two steps back to move a step forward. But I am there, moving ahead, slowly.
I am just here to share because I hear your stories and I feel a connection. It makes me realise, time and time, how despite the layers of complexities that separate us all, there are many unifying elements in the human experience. And our stories help us, strengthen us, give us hope, drive us forward and fuel us.
So, continue to write your stories as I will mine.