Don’t rush to a quick answer. You might want to really let this steep for a while. You might also find that, in some areas, you are in the driver’s seat, and in some others, you simply are not. It may or may not be ok with you depending on the severity of the challenge and the importance of the issue.
The thing is this : you are or you can be, in the driver’s seat.
You are in the driver’s seat when you accept the results you see before you, good or bad. When you see the situation for what it is and decide that even if someone else is to be blamed, that you will take the blame. Why? It is because you know that if you choose not to accept responsibility, nothing will change. Any results you get must come from your own effort, it’s simply not enough to play the blame game and in the end, it doesn’t help you in any way.
Two recent articles I’ve read really drive this point home for me and inspired this post.
The first article is by Sudeep Mohandas who wrote ‘Train the Parents‘ on 27 February 2015. In a discussion about the state of the education system and the role parents play in solving the shortcomings thereof, Sudeep calls for parents to step up to their role as educators in the lives of their children.
This resonates with me because I know that no one institution or person can take on board the education or development of a child. This is huge. The risks, challenges, joys, opportunities and sheer magnitude of what is involved – as a child matures and the number of children within a family – are truly beyond what can be expected at the institutional level. So much of what it entails requires a kind of specialisation and devotion that is best achieved by someone who cares, who has a vested interest and who is totally committed.
Please don’t get me wrong – this is not meant as an insult to the teaching profession at all. I come from a family of educators and understand the value of education. Teaching is one of the noblest professions around and deserves far more support and attention than it current gets. I only mean that there’s something special here between the parent and the child that provides that extra touch. That can make the difference, or not.
And that is about being in the driver’s seat of your life : not blaming the educational system, criticising what’s lacking or failing but just taking charge and doing what you can, within your circle of influence and just getting on with it.
The second article is by Lily Ma who wrote ‘Solve it or Get Used to It‘ on 2 March 2015. An interesting article about going car-less in modern life, the crux of the article is the idea that if we really evaluate our choices and our predicament, our desire to solve a problem should consider “the weightage of our choices” and not result in outcomes where we pick the path of “get used to it”.
This personally, is an idea, that took some time to make real impact in my life. But now that it has, it has opened up whole vistas for me. To realise that sometimes, the choices are not what seem to be in front of us, that we don’t necessarily need to predict or assume things to arrive at what we believe are our choices, that we should really consider ALL options and look at things with a blank slate – is truly a liberating experience. And so powerful in putting you back in the position, of running your life.
Don’t you think?
I run the Verticaldistinct.com platform and Accelerate Magazine. I blog regularly on personal development, mindfulness, growth and habits. I also contribute posts regularly to Women of HR, HRIS World and post on LinkedIn. Check out the February 2015 issue of Accelerate Magazine now and let me know what you think!